Snow White REMIX
by Orange and the Yoh-muse 35
Summary: Parody of Snow White...Evil sorcerer Akito has decided to kidnap Snow Yuki but Prince Kyou comes! SHOUNEN AIYAOI


A/N: So, this is my first Furuba fic!!! --; I am so totally going to bomb this...my friends said the first 2 pages were good when they read them...I don't know about the rest though, because...I typed it up this morning. Yeah...and yesterday too...  
  
Very awkward writing right here... but I'm going to explain the title. Surely, everyone has heard of Gravitation REMIX, right? It's a Gravitation doujinshi done by the mangaka herself. It's totally about yaoi relationships and stuff and is REALLY hardcore. So even though this fanfiction is not totally hardcore, it IS yaoi/shounen ai...so yeah.  
  
Warnings: CURSING!!! Yes, there is the use of the 'F' word here...gasps in shock AND THERE IS ALSO SHOUNEN AI!!! YAOI!!! YAOIYAOIYAOIYAOIYAOIYAOIYAOI!!! If you don't know what that implies, shounen a=boy's love. Yaoi=boy's love only a little less fluffier (more lime/lemon)...So if you're a hetero (straight) relationships fan, I suggest you leave before you see anything...not hetero. Yeah. There is also...slight Akito-bashing. I just sort of...over-exaggerated his personality so now he's slightly sadistic...but I love him in the manga anyways and I want him to BE MINE. Shigure and Yuki too...drool  
  
Disclaimer: But of COURSE, I know Akito and Shigure and Yuki can't be mine because...I am not the owner of Fruits Basket. Sure, I have the whole anime...BUT I DIDN'T DRAW IT!! I ISH NO VOICE ACTOR!!! XP Darn it!!! I want to buy the manga...--; Too bad I'm not Japanese...I'm Asian though!!! GO ASIAN PRIDE!!! XDD I can buy Chinese manga!!! Owns all of Shaman King in Chinese to date  
  
Oops, I got sort of off topic...Might I remind you that I don't own Halo, either...  
  
Once upon a time there was a Land of Sohma with a castle and an evil sorcerer. The sorcerer was very frail and weak, but everyone obeyed him because they were all afraid of the freaky curses that he knew. The sorcerer, unsurprisingly, was also very vain and obsessive. He went by the name of Akito.  
  
Akito always sat in a throne that was covered in rose-petals and, on the back, had a marvelous yet gory painting of a bird sliced in half by a pair of chopsticks. And every day, he would ask his faithful (or so he thought), all-knowing, truthful mirror, "Mirror, mirror, mirror of Kisa, on the tiger wall, tell me who is the prettiest of them all?" And everyday, the mirror would reply, in her meek little voice,  
  
"You are the greatest one of all, Akito-sama; the most beautiful, the richest, the one with the shiniest hair, the one with the best fashion design. Everyone loves you, Akito-sama.  
  
And the mirror hated it. Kisa knew that anyone that was more beautiful, richer, with shinier hair, or with better fashion design that Akito would be killed by one of Akito's underlings. She also knew that what she said wasn't true, but if she didn't utter those stupid words, Akito would break her with a rock. She was prone to the sorcerer's temper tantrums.  
  
So every day, after hearing these thirty words, Akito would laugh and sit back in his throne, talking to himself and Kisa. "Of course I am the most beautiful, the richest, the one with the shiniest hair, the one with the best fashion design!!! Everyone loves me because I am the greatest!!!" And he would laugh yet again, sending a shudder of terror and hatred coursing through Kisa's frame.  
  
But one day, when Akito asked Kisa, "Mirror, mirror, mirror of Kisa, on the tiger wall, tell me who is the prettiest of them all?"  
  
The mirror of Kisa whispered her answer. "You are the greatest one of all, Akito-sama; the richest, the one with the best fashion design. Everyone...loves you, Akito-sama."  
  
Akito laughed, sitting back in his throne and talking to himself and Kisa. "Of course I am the richest-"Realizing there was something wrong with the normal thirty words said, he counted the words. "Kisa..." his voice hissed, "Is there a reason why you only said twenty-one words today?"  
  
Kisa gasped silently in terror but faced Akito bravely. "Yes, there is one individual more beautiful and with shinier hair than you, Akito-sama."  
  
"TELL ME WHO IT IS!!!" Akito raised his voice, standing up. "WHO CAN BE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ME?" The windows and Kisa almost cracked with his sudden volume.  
  
Kisa stuttered out the answer. "Snow Yuki, Akito-sama...He is truly beautiful and has very shiny hair..."  
  
"Show me a picture of him." Akito demanded, still not sitting down. And so, Kisa had no choice but to show a picture of Snow Yuki, who commonly went as just 'Yuki.' Akito's eyes widened as Yuki was shown to him. He couldn't believe it. This...Snow Yuki was beautiful beyond words. Akito suppressed the urge to break the mirror just to see the beauty shatter right before him.  
  
Kisa saw Akito laughing quietly to himself. Finally sitting down, Akito leaned against one arm of the throne. "Snow Yuki, huh..." Akito wanted to see the begging Yuki break under his arms. Blood...Of course that would mean that he himself was gay, but Akito shrugged that off. Right now all that mattered was getting this Snow Yuki to him. "Where is he right now?"  
  
"...In the Land of Sohma..."  
  
Akito scoffed. "Of course, stupid mirror. The Land of Sohma is the only one mentioned in this fanfiction." Wondering what possessed him to say that and exactly what the hell was a fanfiction, he continued. "Tell me where he resides in the Land of Sohma."  
  
"...In the Sohma Forest, Akito-sama."  
  
Akito smacked his forehead lightly. Chuckling slightly, he muttered to himself, "Why didn't I think of that...?" Lifting his head, he called a Hunter over. "Hunter, go tell all of your little friends that Akito-sama is offering a little bounty of five million dead mice to bring Snow Yuki to Akito-sama alive.  
  
"Yes, Akito-sama." Bowing, the Hunter left.  
  
Akito leaned back, a satisfactory smile on his face. "LAPTOP!!!" he called, and the small computer bounced towards him. His grin growing even wider, Akito turned on the laptop. Now to bide time playing Halo...  
  
In the Sohma Forest in the Land of Sohma, Snow Yuki sat in a tree, running a hand through his hair. He was very tired, as he had been running for quite some time to get away from his ever-growing fan club. HE frequently wondered why girls found him so handsome. Yuki disliked his shiny gray hair, his huge purple eyes, and his feminine figure. If he could give anything to actually look like a guy...  
  
Yuki heard faint screaming and gulped. He thought he had rid himself of his fan club, but apparently not. He held his breath, hoping that the crowd of girls would run past his shelter in the tree.  
  
The whole hundred girls had almost passed his hiding spot when one of the girls looked up and screamed, "YUKI-KUN DESU!!!"  
  
All of the girls immediately located him. "Good job, Tohru!" One of the girls congratulated the spotter while others started climbing up the tree.  
  
"Fuck," Yuki breathed. He jumped off the tree and continued running deeper into the forest. What was UP with these girls?? He whipped his head around to look back at the clump of girls, realizing he had gained distance. He was still very tired and felt he would collapse any second because of he being very tired. Not looking at where he was going, he crashed into something-or someone.  
  
"Holy shit..." The person he had run into had fiery orange hair and very, very cool pants. Realizing Yuki, the orange head growled. "What the hell?? Don't you know how to look ahead??"  
  
Yuki was about to retort, when he again heard screaming. Bringing the orange guy with him, he jumped up into another tree.  
  
Kyou, as the orange person was called, had his orange-ness slammed against the trunk of the tree. Grumbling, he started to yell, "What the fuck-" but a hand was clamped over his mouth and the other on his leg.  
  
Yuki concentrated his eyes on the pack of girls that slowly faded away in the distance. He let out a sigh of relief, and turned back to the orange- headed guy with very, very cool pants otherwise known as Kyou, removing his hand from covering Kyou's mouth.  
  
Yuki, at this point, wondered why the orange person was blushing. Then, looking down, he blushed himself and pulled his hand away from Kyou's thigh quickly, yelping slightly.  
  
"Sorry..." Yuki looked away in embarrassment as both of them sat on the branch of the tree.  
  
Kyou was confused. Not to say that he wasn't normally confused, but this time, he was VERY confused. Was this person gay? More so, was he gay? He could still feel that person's hand on his thigh and it left a tingly sensation all over him.  
  
"Um...so who are you, anyway?" Yuki asked, trying to strike up conversation. Besides, it wasn't every day that you could talk to a perfectly normal, orange-haired guy with very, very cool pants in a tree...  
  
"I...am Prince Kyou, of the Land of Sohma."  
  
Yuki scoffed. "Well, duh, the Land of Sohma is the only land in this fanfiction." Blinking, he questioned what a fanfiction was aloud. Kyou shrugged, then realized what Yuki said before was an insult.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY??"  
  
"You heard me. DUH, idiot." A smile grew on Yuki's lips. This Kyou was amusing.  
  
"Are you trying to start a fight with me?? If so, let's take it outside!"  
  
"We ARE outside, baka." Yuki huffed slightly. On second thought, this Kyou was stupid.  
  
"Don't call me BAKA, you little...GIRL!!!" Kyou grinned triumphantly. That was SURE to get on this guy's nerves.  
  
Yuki's eyes narrowed. "Girl...?" Lifting his right hand, he casually backhanded Kyou, causing Kyou to fall off the branch.  
  
Thankfully for Kyou, he landed on all fours. "You stinky pile of poo, get the fuck down here and fight like a MAN!"  
  
Yuki snorted, a very un-Yuki-like thing to do. He burst out laughing, while Kyou was staring at him, wondering what was so funny. "S-Stinky pile of poo??" Yuki tried to stop laughing. "Isn't that a sandwich name??" He accidentally fell off the tree, still shaking in mirth.  
  
&& &&   
  
Sorry to disturb you, but I don't really want to put footnotes either, because that annoys me. This refers to an episode of TIME SQUAD (not owned by me; I watched it on Cartoon Network). It is when the sandwich gets invented, and the inventor of the sandwich (I forgot his name, sorry) holds up the newly made sandwich, and says; "Now I shall name this amazing invention STINKY PILE OF POO!!!" Of course, we all know that STINKY PILE OF POO was never a type of sandwich, but it's fun to think it is.   
  
Again, I'm sorry for interrupting this fic...;   
  
Kyou realized how beautiful those amethyst eyes looked when he laughed. Wait come to think of it, who WAS the purple-eyed person? "What's your name?" Kyou called up to Yuki, who was still laughing.  
  
Yuki stood and wiped a couple of tears from his eyes, still giggling quite a bit. It had been a while since he laughed that hard. "Snow Yuki, the traveler of Sohma Forest," he replied.  
  
"Snow Yuki..." Kyou repeated. "Oh yeah, I've heard of you!!! Akito-sama is offering a little bounty of five million dead mice to bring Snow Yuki to Akito-sama alive!!!"  
  
Yuki gulped. Akito...wasn't he that evil sorcerer that everyone was afraid of because of his freaky curses? What did he want with him, Snow Yuki? Come to think of it, what kind of stupid, redundant, pansy name was Snow Yuki?  
  
"So...you'll come with me, and then I'll get five million mice!!!" Kyou smiled at all the live mice he could buy with five million dead mice...then he could kill the live mice for practice and then he would have more dead mice...wait. Never mind...  
  
Yuki shook his head furiously. "No way in HELL am I going to Akito's place! He's probably going to kill me or something for trespassing in his castle a few times to steal cheese!"  
  
Kyou stared. "Cheese? Well, what Akito-sama says, everyone else does. Even if we all hate-I mean, STRONGLY DISLIKE-Akito-sama..."  
  
"NO! I am NOT going there!!!" Yuki turned to run away but was stopped by Kyou, who yanked him back so they were face to face. Yuki's breath hitched in his throat. They were so close their noses were almost touching...  
  
Even though Kyou was startled by the close proximity, he thought, 'just a little more...' and he leaned in a little and kissed Yuki.  
  
It was a very awkward first kiss for both of them, as Kyou's nose almost bumped into Yuki's. They were simultaneously thinking, 'WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?? HOLY SHIT I'M GAY!!!' but none of that mattered anyways. After the initial shock, Yuki relaxed against Kyou's lips and welcomed the taste.  
  
Kyou's arms wrapped around Yuki's waist as Yuki snaked his arms around Kyou's neck, bringing them closer as they deepened the kiss.  
  
Kyou, being the 'gentleman' he was, ran his tongue over Yuki's bottom lip before entering his mouth. He explored the hot moist cave that was Yuki in delight. Who knew that a guy could taste this good...They broke the kiss after they ran out of breath.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence that followed. Kyou couldn't help staring at Yuki's slightly swollen red lips in desire to kiss them again.  
  
"I-I think I should take you to Akito-sama's castle now..." Yuki nodded in quiet agreement, still speechless, and followed Kyou through the Sohma Forest.  
  
...Meanwhile, Akito was laughing maniacally at the laptop as he obliterated random enemies and watched all the blood. Maybe he would watch Kill Bill Volume 2 afterwards; Akito had wanted to watch that after getting very good torture ideas from Volume 1.  
  
So, that was the semi-intro slash first chapter...first chapter. It is a little strange; on second thought, VERY strange...; dahdahdahdah...I remember I was going to say something but I forgot what...mind blanks out Oh yeah, I don't own Kill Bill, either...or Halo, for that matter. But both are very bloody!!! ...And the whole mice thing...I'm thinking mice are like their equivalent for the Japanese yen. Yeah, so Akito's pretty rich if that's a 'little' bounty...  
  
Let me just explain Snow Yuki. 'Yuki' roughly translates into "precious reason." But 'yuki' can also translate into snow (I think...I don't know [as stated before, I'm not Japanese]). So, Snow Yuki could be translated into Snow Snow...therefore, redundant.  
  
But I seriously have NO clue when I'll be updating because this is all I've thought up to at this point. And I shall have to say, even if Tohru does appear again in this fic, she will play a very unimportant role because I hate-STRONGLY DISLIKE- her perfect-ness. No offense to Tohru fans, by the way (if there are any laughs sorry, that was a little mean).  
  
Please R&R!!!! Yesh, please... 


End file.
